In case it hasn't been clear through the four or so blogs I've posted...I'm a talker. I love it. It's the thing I do best and it will be my second best trait after I receive my MRS. I love talking on the phone and in person, over dinner, or with a glass of wine. I love it so much that a couple of times, I'm lost my voice from overuse. I'm a curious questioner. I consider myself good at being able to start and hold a conversation with a person. Well....
Navigating the world of online dating with it's cyber winks and emails and reverse communication can be tough, but I forced myself to email this guy that I thought had two things that are crucial: Nice teeth, and nice eyes. I noticed that he was also Greek from his profile and asked him if he was bilingual. He answered my question and asked nothing in response. NOTHING!!!!! Immediately, I thought, Dating DUD! But I'm constantly trying to give people another shot, thinking that maybe the first time around they pressed enter too quickly and didn't mean to send an email that was going nowhere. I wondered if maybe he wasn't interested, but then why send a reply at all. Then, I thought maybe he was shy. I wrote again saying something about my also being bilingual. And wouldn't you know it, he responded accordingly and added a question. And here folks is that question:
"So how's Match going for you?"
Oh no he did not just ask me the DUMBEST question!! I'm not even sure what purpose it serves to ask me that. You might think I'm being harsh here, but seriously unless this is a "Let's make friends site" then why would he ask a thing like that. I was ready to dub him conversationally retarded when my friend Linda stepped in. She noted that he truly might be shy and also be trying to gauge how many other guys I'm talking to. She offered me the best thing to say to him as a way of kicking him in his socially inept ass and making it clear that I am interested and he should hurry up and act appropriately. We'll see what happens.
Another great thing about what Linda suggested was that it forced me out of my comfort zone. I really do believe that you have to love yourself to find love, as I said early on. But more importantly you have to be open to it, and I've been so afraid of feeling vulnerable enough to let a guy in, that I tend to be sarcastic funny instead of sexy/flirty funny. That might not make sense, but basically I'm realizing that I'm too scared to say something that might actually move things forward with a guy. It's like fear of being happy, because you expect the worse. Enough sappy. Bottom line is in MRS 101 you are never to afraid to go after a man or make it clear to him that you are interested in more than friendship.
Happy loving!
Footnote: The morse code nerd never wrote back. All that dash/dot cracking for nothing. But here's a thought. Maybe bannana stuffed french toast was a euphemism. We'll never know.
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